Sometimes life just absolutely sucks! And the sucky part is that eveyone around you makes you feel like it is all your fault. I am having that day today.
I am the horrible bitch for being upset that a friend is pg and I NEVER will be- I signed the consent form, it was my choice to destroy my fertility.
I have headaches, again apparently my fault. I have to turn down invitations to get togethers, and again this is my fault- if I didn't have the headache we would still be going. DH made obligation to go so at least he hast to go and leave me at home feeling like shit.
My 'girlfriends' that I have had for decades suddenly stop calling me, yet sends copy of email inviting everyone else to event this weekend, Yet if I were to say anything then I would be the bitch for pointing anything out....after all being sick and in pain is all my fault in the firstl
Saturday, May 5, 2012
Today was yet another reminder that I am not as far along on this journey as I thought that I am. DH txted me to tell me that a friend of ours that had also experienced a loss recently was now pregnant. Even now as I type this I am bursting out in tears. I am truly happy for them, I just wish that my emotions show this. I hate that the hormones are so screwed. I can't take back my choice, I know I made the right choice, it just hurts so intensely some days that we really won't ever be parents to a living child....only to 5 Angels, 5 beautiful little Angels that I will hold only in our dreams....sometimes I hate waking up. <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
Saturday, March 10, 2012
An End to a Journey....
In 11 days a journey that started 8+ years ago by 2 people who love each other very much will finally come to an end.
This end is permanent and there is and will be no way to turn back the hands of time. Yes, we have thought about what we will be doing, we have been discussing it with my OB/GYN since 2007, yes, 5 years. Part of why we never followed through was financial reasons, we had always thought that we would use part of our tax returns to pay for the surgery and something would come up every year and it would be swept aside with the hopes of having it done next year. We also kept putting it off as we weren't really ready to stop ttc, not deep down in our heart of hearts or in our head. When we became pregnant in 2008 we were scared yet hopeful that this would be the one, sadly we all know that that was not to be, and we again discussed future plans with the OB/GYN and gave him the tearful answer that we were done, we can't go through this again, 4 times was more than enough for the pain and heartbreak that came with each loss. But again, finances ruled the decision. Even when I ended up in the ER in 2010 with a large ovarian cyst and the same discussion with my OB/GYN, what were our plans for the next 3, 5, 10 years in regards to a family. Again a tearful answer from myself that we were done, as soon as we could afford to have the procedures we would let him know. His answer was always the same, take the time to think about it and when we were ready give him a call and he would get it on the schedule.
After 3 years of not conceiving we thought that we were safe, well, the story has been told that yes, we had a very Happy Halloween last year. I haven't charted my cycles for over 4 years, but I went to the site just for the heck of it, plotted my info on my graph and yes their info came back that it had been my fertile time...but we had tried for years with the stupid charting and without medications or interventions nothing happened and now 4 years later we are successful on our own?! I had this discussion with Richard and he of course we skeptical, can you blame him? So the waiting happened and we both agreed that we wouldn't get ahead of ourselves, we weren't going to tell anyone (other than essential medical personnel) AND we weren't going to get hopeful or excited....yeah, right. I had behind his back started looking at baby furniture, figured out when we were due (July 26th) and started to research my medications to see what was safe and what needed to go. We also had the discussion that 'see if we had had surgery we wouldn't be getting this one last chance.' When we did finally tell people, everyone had the same concerns, what was going to happen to me emotionally should something go wrong. I understood their concerns, I had them myself, but each day, each week that passed, the further along we got the more relaxed or calm I became with the idea that we were really finally pregnant, we were finally having our family. I was able to see the light at the end of the tunnel, I dreamed of my labor and delivery, I dreamed of holding our sweet Angel in my arms, finally getting that new baby smell, seeing my parents, Richard's parents holding their first and only grandchild. When we found out that we had lost this sweet baby I held my emotions in check (or so I thought I did) and tried to tell myself, it was for the best, the medications that I take were harmful, this wasn't meant to be. Richard and I weren't meant to be parents to living children, just cats.
Thoughts of my upcoming surgery is causing me to be in a manic cycle, it is messing with my sleeping, my daily functions, just messing with my life in general. I know that this surgery needs to be performed for multiple medical reasons, this surgery will hopefully make me feel better. I am trying to find all the positives of having surgery, maybe I will be able to focus more on myself in a good way and can finally get some (a lot) weight off, I won't have to worry about hormone issues (one ovary is being left for this purpose), maybe my headaches will get better. But I am afraid that I will fill empty inside and it will be my doing, I signed the consent form. I also know that we (me, Richard, our family) can't go through another pregnancy or another loss. I never in my wildest dreams ever thought that it would be this difficult to have a family, a living family. We never knew that our marriage would be filled with heartbreak, we always imagined at least one little one running around, chasing cats, fishing with Opa and baking with Oma. I saw them running around at the holidays at family get-togethers with the other cousins. This past Christmas all the cousins were there and it was magical watching them play, all the while Richard and I were still keeping our little secret, but we smiled at each other knowing that next year our 5 month old would be the ohh's and ahh's of everyone. My parents looking on proudly at their new grandbaby.
I know this has been a roller coaster to hell and back for all of us, I am more than ready to get off this ride and never get back on. I want us all to be able to heal, hold memories in our hearts, but also not be angry, disappointed, cheated, heartbroken. I know that some of these feelings won't ever go away, they will be reinforced every time a baby cries, a pregnant belly crosses our path (yes, it is almost like having a black cat cross your path). What I have tried to see when in these situations, I don't know these women's situations, I don't know if they have suffered and are scarred by infertility. Knowing these things have made it much easier (at times) to see these women- but I do have to admit that the ugly IF bitch in me rears its ugly head and things falls out of my mouth before I have a chance to filter it, luckily I do have volume control and nothing has ever been said directly to their faces or at a volume that is easily heard by anyone not standing directly beside me.
I realize that this post is full of a lot of ramblings, I am currently medicated for everyone's safety (I have a migraine and cramps from HELL) ;) I haven't written in such a long time that I had several things to get off my chest. I am nervous and scared, I am having horrible dreams that when the doctor goes in for the biopsy (one of the first procedures being done) that he is going to find that,'OH SHIT! She really is pregnant!' I know that I am not, but Richard has had these same dreams. I think this is happening because we would rather find that out than to be told we will never be pregnant again, and the surgery went well. I know that everything will go the way that it should, there will be no complications other than emotionally. I think that besides the surgery itself that is what I am afraid of most, regretting my choice as there is no going back, there is no option like a tubal ligation or a vasectomy, this is permanent, there is no going back should we change our mind a few years down the road. As I am having my last cycle prior to surgery, dealing with the intense cramping, the emotional roller coaster, the other crap that goes along with AF I am to a point relieved that this time next month it won't be happening, it won't be happening ever again. And then at another point, I am reminded at just how final this is going to be, I will never be pregnant ever again meaning, we will never go through losing another life that we held so dear, we will never miscarry again. We had unofficially/officially come to terms with the fact that we are a part of that percentage, that group that will live childless or childfree. Neither of us really like either of those terms, yes it describes our lives, but what we have put in is that we are childless due to biology, not by choice. Childfree to us sounds more like a decision that was made by a couple that never intended to have children EVER...don't get me wrong, I have nothing against these people, it is their choice. Childless sounds like attempts were made to have a family and for whatever reason biology was not on their side, resources were exhausted, the way Richard and I feel was that we weren't given a choice in the matter, no matter who hard we tried, the hoping, the praying, the dreaming- biology was just not on our side.
The 5 pregnancies will be forever cherished, milestones reached in pregnancy will be fondly remembered. With this last pregnancy I kept a journal, something that I had thought of doing with each previous journey. I have gone back and looked at my entries, I have made a few entries following our loss. I believe that I will probably make a few more entries in the upcoming days leading up to surgery and some following just to track my feelings. I will probably make an entry or two in July around the due date and then maybe even as we pass the first set of anniversaries this year and next. The first ones are always the hardest, especially when this is the last time we will have a set of firsts. In a way knowing that is a blessing yet also a curse, a blessing knowing that future anniversaries will be a little easier with each passing year, a curse knowing that we will never have another, ever.
This end is permanent and there is and will be no way to turn back the hands of time. Yes, we have thought about what we will be doing, we have been discussing it with my OB/GYN since 2007, yes, 5 years. Part of why we never followed through was financial reasons, we had always thought that we would use part of our tax returns to pay for the surgery and something would come up every year and it would be swept aside with the hopes of having it done next year. We also kept putting it off as we weren't really ready to stop ttc, not deep down in our heart of hearts or in our head. When we became pregnant in 2008 we were scared yet hopeful that this would be the one, sadly we all know that that was not to be, and we again discussed future plans with the OB/GYN and gave him the tearful answer that we were done, we can't go through this again, 4 times was more than enough for the pain and heartbreak that came with each loss. But again, finances ruled the decision. Even when I ended up in the ER in 2010 with a large ovarian cyst and the same discussion with my OB/GYN, what were our plans for the next 3, 5, 10 years in regards to a family. Again a tearful answer from myself that we were done, as soon as we could afford to have the procedures we would let him know. His answer was always the same, take the time to think about it and when we were ready give him a call and he would get it on the schedule.
After 3 years of not conceiving we thought that we were safe, well, the story has been told that yes, we had a very Happy Halloween last year. I haven't charted my cycles for over 4 years, but I went to the site just for the heck of it, plotted my info on my graph and yes their info came back that it had been my fertile time...but we had tried for years with the stupid charting and without medications or interventions nothing happened and now 4 years later we are successful on our own?! I had this discussion with Richard and he of course we skeptical, can you blame him? So the waiting happened and we both agreed that we wouldn't get ahead of ourselves, we weren't going to tell anyone (other than essential medical personnel) AND we weren't going to get hopeful or excited....yeah, right. I had behind his back started looking at baby furniture, figured out when we were due (July 26th) and started to research my medications to see what was safe and what needed to go. We also had the discussion that 'see if we had had surgery we wouldn't be getting this one last chance.' When we did finally tell people, everyone had the same concerns, what was going to happen to me emotionally should something go wrong. I understood their concerns, I had them myself, but each day, each week that passed, the further along we got the more relaxed or calm I became with the idea that we were really finally pregnant, we were finally having our family. I was able to see the light at the end of the tunnel, I dreamed of my labor and delivery, I dreamed of holding our sweet Angel in my arms, finally getting that new baby smell, seeing my parents, Richard's parents holding their first and only grandchild. When we found out that we had lost this sweet baby I held my emotions in check (or so I thought I did) and tried to tell myself, it was for the best, the medications that I take were harmful, this wasn't meant to be. Richard and I weren't meant to be parents to living children, just cats.
Thoughts of my upcoming surgery is causing me to be in a manic cycle, it is messing with my sleeping, my daily functions, just messing with my life in general. I know that this surgery needs to be performed for multiple medical reasons, this surgery will hopefully make me feel better. I am trying to find all the positives of having surgery, maybe I will be able to focus more on myself in a good way and can finally get some (a lot) weight off, I won't have to worry about hormone issues (one ovary is being left for this purpose), maybe my headaches will get better. But I am afraid that I will fill empty inside and it will be my doing, I signed the consent form. I also know that we (me, Richard, our family) can't go through another pregnancy or another loss. I never in my wildest dreams ever thought that it would be this difficult to have a family, a living family. We never knew that our marriage would be filled with heartbreak, we always imagined at least one little one running around, chasing cats, fishing with Opa and baking with Oma. I saw them running around at the holidays at family get-togethers with the other cousins. This past Christmas all the cousins were there and it was magical watching them play, all the while Richard and I were still keeping our little secret, but we smiled at each other knowing that next year our 5 month old would be the ohh's and ahh's of everyone. My parents looking on proudly at their new grandbaby.
I know this has been a roller coaster to hell and back for all of us, I am more than ready to get off this ride and never get back on. I want us all to be able to heal, hold memories in our hearts, but also not be angry, disappointed, cheated, heartbroken. I know that some of these feelings won't ever go away, they will be reinforced every time a baby cries, a pregnant belly crosses our path (yes, it is almost like having a black cat cross your path). What I have tried to see when in these situations, I don't know these women's situations, I don't know if they have suffered and are scarred by infertility. Knowing these things have made it much easier (at times) to see these women- but I do have to admit that the ugly IF bitch in me rears its ugly head and things falls out of my mouth before I have a chance to filter it, luckily I do have volume control and nothing has ever been said directly to their faces or at a volume that is easily heard by anyone not standing directly beside me.
I realize that this post is full of a lot of ramblings, I am currently medicated for everyone's safety (I have a migraine and cramps from HELL) ;) I haven't written in such a long time that I had several things to get off my chest. I am nervous and scared, I am having horrible dreams that when the doctor goes in for the biopsy (one of the first procedures being done) that he is going to find that,'OH SHIT! She really is pregnant!' I know that I am not, but Richard has had these same dreams. I think this is happening because we would rather find that out than to be told we will never be pregnant again, and the surgery went well. I know that everything will go the way that it should, there will be no complications other than emotionally. I think that besides the surgery itself that is what I am afraid of most, regretting my choice as there is no going back, there is no option like a tubal ligation or a vasectomy, this is permanent, there is no going back should we change our mind a few years down the road. As I am having my last cycle prior to surgery, dealing with the intense cramping, the emotional roller coaster, the other crap that goes along with AF I am to a point relieved that this time next month it won't be happening, it won't be happening ever again. And then at another point, I am reminded at just how final this is going to be, I will never be pregnant ever again meaning, we will never go through losing another life that we held so dear, we will never miscarry again. We had unofficially/officially come to terms with the fact that we are a part of that percentage, that group that will live childless or childfree. Neither of us really like either of those terms, yes it describes our lives, but what we have put in is that we are childless due to biology, not by choice. Childfree to us sounds more like a decision that was made by a couple that never intended to have children EVER...don't get me wrong, I have nothing against these people, it is their choice. Childless sounds like attempts were made to have a family and for whatever reason biology was not on their side, resources were exhausted, the way Richard and I feel was that we weren't given a choice in the matter, no matter who hard we tried, the hoping, the praying, the dreaming- biology was just not on our side.
The 5 pregnancies will be forever cherished, milestones reached in pregnancy will be fondly remembered. With this last pregnancy I kept a journal, something that I had thought of doing with each previous journey. I have gone back and looked at my entries, I have made a few entries following our loss. I believe that I will probably make a few more entries in the upcoming days leading up to surgery and some following just to track my feelings. I will probably make an entry or two in July around the due date and then maybe even as we pass the first set of anniversaries this year and next. The first ones are always the hardest, especially when this is the last time we will have a set of firsts. In a way knowing that is a blessing yet also a curse, a blessing knowing that future anniversaries will be a little easier with each passing year, a curse knowing that we will never have another, ever.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Finally doing it...
Yup, went to the doctor this morning and had my consultation and am now scheduled to have the Novasure procedure, along with a laundry list of other procedures. I will be doing this on March 21st, the procedures will all take about an hour to an hour and half and then I get to go home to recover...that being as long as now complications as I am at a little higher risk due to my bleeding issues and then the Novasure procedure can puncture the uterus- oops.
I am a little nervous that I am finally doing this, Richard is nervous as well. I think we are both a little sad that we are finally doing this as it means that we are most definitely, finally done with having a family of more than 2. In a way it is also a relief that we won't have to go through any further losses...well, this is in a way a loss, but it is different, but still final.
I am a little nervous that I am finally doing this, Richard is nervous as well. I think we are both a little sad that we are finally doing this as it means that we are most definitely, finally done with having a family of more than 2. In a way it is also a relief that we won't have to go through any further losses...well, this is in a way a loss, but it is different, but still final.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Again, my heart has broken
I can't believe that this time Sunday my life was still going wonderfully, Richard and I were still expectant parents...we thought that we were 12 weeks 3 days. We (well, me) were still having tender breasts, peeing constantly, clothes were getting tight etc. We were so happy.
Fast forward to Monday the 15th...not feeling very positive following ob visit, labs drawn and now waiting. Tuesday, the first 2 labs come in, CBC is normal and the repeat beta is negative. We are now finished, the bleeding that had happened over the 7-8th was a m/c, again. Got the rest of my labs today, everything is normal. We briefly spoke about what would be next, I asked about the novasure and removal of the right ovary. I was told that when we were ready to have this down to contact them and let them know and we would finalize the details. We basically went from being excited expectant parents to being devastated couple, childless due to biology- never by choice-
After some brief discussions we will look further into the novasure and related procedures to see what the financials involved will be. The house comes first with tax returns this year, then we need to put money aside for the cats for their vet care. So again, from 2012 looking like an amazing happy year, it has gone down the toilet quite quickly.
Fast forward to Monday the 15th...not feeling very positive following ob visit, labs drawn and now waiting. Tuesday, the first 2 labs come in, CBC is normal and the repeat beta is negative. We are now finished, the bleeding that had happened over the 7-8th was a m/c, again. Got the rest of my labs today, everything is normal. We briefly spoke about what would be next, I asked about the novasure and removal of the right ovary. I was told that when we were ready to have this down to contact them and let them know and we would finalize the details. We basically went from being excited expectant parents to being devastated couple, childless due to biology- never by choice-
After some brief discussions we will look further into the novasure and related procedures to see what the financials involved will be. The house comes first with tax returns this year, then we need to put money aside for the cats for their vet care. So again, from 2012 looking like an amazing happy year, it has gone down the toilet quite quickly.
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Yes it is truly true...
After the last 8 years I never EVER thought that I would be making the announcement that we did on Christmas Eve...we are PREGNANT! I am still a bit in shock even though we have known since mid-November...we have reached the double digits...we have never reached double digits before- this is so exciting! Tonight is the last night of 2011, can't believe how quickly this year has gone by, hoping that 2012 takes its time as I want to enjoy every minute of this miraculous event and then I don't want him/her to grow to quickly, but I know that they do. 10 weeks 3 days- I am more happy than I ever could have imagined I could be. Please keep me and Sprout in your thoughts and prayers, we still have a long way to go!
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
My Heart, My Love, My Angel
Six Years...it seems like such a long time ago and yet at the same time it feels like yesterday.
The last few weeks have been flooded with various memories that are so old, yet still so fresh. Thoughts of happiness, fear and excitement have rushed in so many times...the memories of when we first discovered that we were expecting our very first child, how excited we were and how scared we were at the same time. When we first saw those 2 pink lines, we were beside ourselves! How did this happen, well we knew how this happened, but it was really happening?! We became immediately attached and the planning began, oh the planning...the hopes, the dreams! Our lives were changing in such an amazing way, we had waited SO long for this day and it was finally here!
Then we found the pregnancy calculator...plugged in the dates...this baby was so meant to be! The due date...July 1st! My Mom's birthday! Richard's Mom's birthday was just a few days later! My Mom was born on HER Grandmother's 50th birthday, I remember how special my Mom had told me that it was for them, and now it was going to happen for her, her first grandchild was due on her birthday! I couldn't wait to tell her what her birthday present the following year was going to be, I couldn't think of anything better! We were also excited that Richard's Mom would also receive this special gift, everything was falling into place.
I called my OB to schedule my first prenatal visit...after so long I was fumbling to get out what I needed to be seen for...'I think we might be pregnant, the HPT was faint, but it is positive.' The receptionist was the first person to congratulate us and happily made that first appointment for Tuesday, October 25th at 11 A.M., a week and a half away! Do we tell people, do we tell our employers, do we tell anybody?! For the first few days we kept the happy news to ourselves, then I saw my Mom one afternoon and I had to tell her...it didn't go as planned. Richard had recently started a new job with no benefits and only part-time. I was working for an agency also with no benefits and pretty crappy pay. Was it the best time for us to be starting our family, probably not, but when would it be the best time? If we kept waiting for finances to be right, jobs to be right, life to be right then we would never start our family. My Mom did agree with this but still wasn't totally excited like I had hoped that she would be...my Dad was having shoulder surgery on the 25th and she asked that we not tell him about the pregnancy until after the surgery as he probably wouldn't be very happy. None of this was what Richard or I had expected. We thought that our families would be so happy since we had been waiting so long to start our family- this would be their first and probably only grandchild, we thought that they would be over the moon about this, we decided to wait to tell Richard's parents.
The days went by and we continued to be so happy, the morning sickness, the exhaustion, the food/smell aversions and the strange new cravings...everything reminded us that there really was this little life, a little girl, our first sweet angel was growing inside me, life was perfect! We took our first visits to Babys R Us looking at strollers and carseats, cribs, monitors- everything! I had picked out bedding from Pottery Barn Baby, it came in both pink and blue so it was perfect either way, even though we just knew that it was going to be a girl. We talked about names...he vetoed all the original girl names that I had chosen over the years- he didn't want our child to be picked on or have to explain his or her name or spell it all the time...I gave in :) Richard wanted to honor his biological grandparents some way so we decided to use their last name, also his 'original' last name- Brierley. Then to keep with the family theme we wanted to use my maternal great-grandmother's name- we knew that her middle initial was an 'I' but we didn't have any idea what the name was- my mother looked in an old family bible and found that the 'I' stood for Isabel. It was perfect! We had our name- Brierley Isabel- we fell completely in love with it!
Monday, October 24th we were so excited! Our first prenatal visit was in the morning, we hoped that we would have an ultrasound and maybe even get to hear the heartbeat. My Dad was also having surgery in the morning, we hadn't told him anything yet, we wanted him to just concentrate on recovering from surgery, after all we had plenty of time to tell him. The plan was to be at the hospital with my parents prior to surgery and then go to my appointment at 11 then go back to the hospital to sit with Mom and Richard would head off to work.
Tuesday, October 25th...I woke up suddenly at about 6 A.M. with sharp cramping and the feeling that I needed to use the bathroom. We had had some spicy foods for dinner the previous night so I thought that was what the problem was, I got up and discovered that I was spotting and the cramps where getting worse. Deep down I knew what was happening, I thought if I ignore it and just go back to bed everything will be just fine. I went back to bed trying not to cry, I looked over and Richard was still sound asleep. I curled up on my side and tried to go back to sleep. I just needed to get to 8 A.M. when my OB's office opened so that I could talk to the nurse to see what I needed to do, I knew that really there was nothing that I could do, I laid there cramping and bleeding, rubbing my belly and apologizing to our baby for not being able to keep her safe. Richard woke up at 7 A.M. and asked how I was doing, without rolling over I just blurted out that it was over, he asked me what I meant and I told him that I had woken up earlier cramping and when I went to the bathroom I was bleeding. He was upset with me that I hadn't woke him up, I told him that I didn't because there was nothing that he could do and he needed to sleep. I waited until a few minutes after 8 and then called my OB...I spoke with his nurse to see if I still needed to come in for my appointment or if I needed to cancel it. She was amazing, after asking a few questions she offered her condolences and explained that I still needed to come in to make sure that everything was ok, as ok as it could be considering. I was instructed to relax and try to stay calm until my appointment. Richard and I got ready and headed out to the hospital to be with my parents, I told my Mom what was going on, we decided it would be best not to saying anything to my Dad as he was nervous about the surgery to begin with- I didn't want him worrying about me, I wanted him to relax and have everything go well. I tried my best to ignore what my body was doing so that no one else would know either, apparently I didn't look like I was feeling very well so people kept asking if I was ok, of course I lied. Richard and I went to my appointment, we got to have the ultrasound that we had hoped for...we didn't get to see what we had hoped to or get to hear a heartbeat. What we did see was a perfect looking gestational sac that measured 4 weeks 3 days. My OB explained that it could be just a bit too early to see the baby or that the baby had already been reabsorbed by my body or it had already passed. He explained that most likely I was miscarrying as there was active bleeding seen around the sac. He sat with Richard and I and told us that he was sorry, we needed to prepare for the worst, yet hope for the best. This pregnancy was bittersweet as on the one hand it confirmed the faint HPT, that we really were pregnant- we could get pregnant, but on the other hand we were losing this baby. I was so confused, how could this be happening?! We had done everything right- I had been taking prenatal vitamins for almost 3 years, we had gone over all of my medications to make sure everything was safe should we get pregnant, we even changed a few meds to make them safe for pregnancy. We had discussed precautions for blood clots and preventing them, we had discussed and planned for taking Heparin injections to keep me from producing clots. Why was this happening? What had we done wrong? Why did my body fail me...why did I fail my baby, my husband, my parents, his parents? I just didn't understand, my heart was shattered.
Tuesday, October 25th...Six Years Later. The last few days I have thought about what was happening six years ago...yesterday, six years ago I was still pregnant with our first child. I know that dates eventually meet up with each other- Tuesday, October 25, 2005 we lost our sweet angel, Brierley Isabel. Today, Tuesday, October 25, 2011 we remember our sweet Angel, Brierley Isabel. We remember our happiness, how our lives were forever changed, not necessarily for bad...it seems strange saying that as our lives were changed, even if only briefly, our lives where changed for the better because we had this sweet little soul in our lives, in our hearts- forever. As we, or at least me, think about these events that happened six years ago, I think about how our live were changed, our relationship went from us to we. We became parents-to-be, a Mom and a Dad with tiny little footprints forever etched across our hearts.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)