Thursday, August 4, 2011

Hopefully Winding Down

Well, Mom had surgery this afternoon and everything went very well. The surgeon told my Dad that when he made the initial incision the tissue immediately pinked up, pretty much showing how bad the compression was. So a 'simple' laminectomy was all that was needed, no fusion or hardware was required. I am now trying to relax now that the surgery is over and she feels better.
Saw my psychiatrist this afternoon also, we didn't change any meds at this time but we are being cautious and watching the cycling which has been very rapid the last few weeks. So instead of seeing him again in 3 months, I have to go back the end of the month and if things aren't better then we will look at changing meds. Also going back to see the counselor once a week instead of every other week. I thought things were going ok and between my counselor and myself being sick a few times in June I had appointments cancelled and rescheduled and then we both kinda forgot about things and I went almost a month and a half without seeing her and obviously that wasn't the best idea.
So some of my stressors/emotional issues are getting better, but there are a few that are still hanging around- events that have made me jealous, angry with myself and my body- events that are causing me to ask 'Why not us?' I truly am happy for the people in these situations, don't get me wrong, they both absolutely deserve what has happened to them, it just brings up some painful issues- something that I know I will be talking to my counselor about, somethings that I thought we had processed and beginning to resolve- after these last few days I am thinking not so much.
I am ready for the hot Summer weather to be over, I know it is not as hot here as it is in other places, but I am still too hot- I just don't do the heat. I am ready for Summer projects to be done or at least slow down so I can have more than a day or two during the week to just relax with Richard. I think it is slowly coming. I can do this.