STD sucks...and no it isn't even a fun one!

Well been to the pain doc again today- that clinic is quickly seeming to become a second home, and I am not very happy about that. I have been there 4 times since I became a patient back on the 24th of January- and I still feel like crap, I still have almost daily headaches. Yes, I know they don't have the magic cure, there is no magic pill- I am just frustrated- I just want my life back, or some small semblance of my former life- you know the life where I was working- that thing that I spent a really long stressful time going to nursing school for to get that degree for- that life- I want that back- because oh yes, I am now off of work until the 21st- that is when my next appointment is- employee health won't let me come back before then- my STD will be out right around then- so if they won't let me come back after that I have no idea what we are going to do- we are going to be screwed- big time! The next plan that the doc has for me is to try botox injections, there has been lots of research that shows that it has some benefit with helping with headaches- only problem is that my insurance is most likely going to deny it- the office will then turn in an appeal- in the mean time I have to pay for the treatments out of pocket ($500) and if insurance finally figures out that I am not having cosmetic procedures done and they decide to cover it, then I might get reimbursed- but I still have to figure out how to pay for this on top of all of the other medical bills that we are already trying to pay while I am not working. The cat had to get pneumonia last week- so there was $200+, my dear husband went and got an abscess- he has another appointment for that on Friday- this will be appointment #4 for this- haven't seen any bills for this yet- still trying to pay off his hernia repair- then we are still paying on my last 2 ER visits- CT from July- just got the statement from the last visit- all I can say is that my insurance deductible has been met for the year already- And everyone wonders why I am depressed- that is a really stupid question- I think it is pretty self explanatory myself- but hey I guess maybe that is because I am the one who is being realistic and everyone else around me are the ones being delusional in thinking that everything is just fine- maybe I should be taking their drugs- because obviously theirs are a hell of lot better than mine.