Nervous

Well in less than 24 hours I have my procedure down. I found out that I am going to have IV sedation, which is a good thing, because if it is anything like having my knees done, I don't want to be awake for that pain in my neck. I am just afraid that it isn't going to work. I don't know, hopefully it will at least decrease the frequency and intensity of my headaches, that would be a good thing, anything would be better than where I am at now.

Richard has admitted that he doesn't want to give up on having children, but he also admits that he doesn't want to put me through any more pain or heartbreak. We have a garden full of angels, our newest to be placed this spring- we purchased everything needed to make her stepping stone as soon as the weather warms up- he even picked out the candle holder this time. It is difficult knowing that his dream of being a father to living children will never be realized, I hate that- it isn't fair, but I just can't go through any more losses and stay sane- my heart has been broken too many times, I can't do it any more.