Friday, May 8, 2009
Today was a better day. My meds are slowly kicking in again- but unfortunately I am back at the beginning stages so they are making me really sleepy. I have spent the last 2 days at my parents house so that I would be somewhere that was safe and not home alone. My husband and parents were afraid to leave me alone, I think that they still are. I have to gain their trust back and promise that I will continue to take my meds everyday, like I am suppose to and that I won't stop them again. What I did was scary and stupid, I don't know why I continue to do things that hurt not only me but those that love me. I keep thinking that my husband will one day leave me because I am broken and crazy- but every time he tells me, promises me that he isn't going anywhere- my parents do the same thing, yet I continue to try and chase them away; and that is one of my biggest fears to be left alone, maybe that is why I do it- to make sure that they aren't going anywhere.