Wednesday, October 8, 2008
I am confused as to why my husband and I don't communicate. I think he doesn't tell me things so that I don't get stressed out, but then when I find out things it stresses me out more because we are in more trouble than I ever thought. I have a headache again because of the stress, I am looking for a job because my disability was denied- that alone sends me into panic mode. Then we start arguing- I just did something that I know is going to start a huge argument, I told my Dad the problems we are having, I had to tell someone- I hate being home alone, especially with these thoughts looming through my head- what to sell, where are we going to get the money in 30 days- can we get the money in 30 days are we really going to lose the house this time? Where will we live....it is all just too much right now. I know that he is going to be mad that I even wrote about this but I had to get it out somewhere. No one really reads this anyway so what the hell, who cares. He doesn't understand that I have the stupid letter and know what he has been trying to be protecting me from- too late now- I know and it sucks, and I don't know what to do. We need to talk to each other even if it isn't going to be all happy, hell, I am already nuts, what more can happen.