Saturday, March 14, 2009
Does he stop to think about me?
Last night dh I guess was trying to comfort me or something, when in the midst of it he told me he doesn't know how much more of all of this he can take- well excuse me that my breakdown's have become an interference in his life, but what about mine- has he ever stopped to think about how much more of this that I can take?! I hate feeling jealous, crying whenever I think about the pregnancy that isn't mine- the baby that will be here in August that isn't ours- the fact that we can't even ttc because of MY medications. Has he even stopped to think that about any of that- I am sorry that I am screwing up his life- no I don't do things during the day, no I don't want him to quit his new job to stay home and babysit me- thanks for that thought, I am adult, yes I have mental issues, but I don't need a freaking babysitter! I just need someone to listen to me, someone that cares about me, someone to hold me and tell me that everything is going to be okay even when I feel like it is not and feel like the world is ending and out to get me. That is all I need, is that too much to ask for- maybe it is.