When does the pain go away?

When I am going to be able to think about my cousin's pregnancy and not think about what I lost? When I am going to be able to think of her and immediately feel pain and loss and start to cry? Am I ever going to be able to feel joy for her and let go of my pain- when does that happen? When will my pain of loosing my pregnancy that she now has go away? I want to be happy for her, I really do, she is when of the cousin's that married into the family that is nice and fits with the family- I want to be happy for her, but every time I think about her my heart breaks because she has what I don't have, what I am supposed to have right now. When the hurt stop? When will heart stop breaking? When will I get my life back?