Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Happy New Year....

Well it is 2008! The beginning of a new year- so far so good, but then again I am at work and it is 0445.
I did accomplish a few good things last year-
*I started loosing weight and I am still going at it!
*I sent out Christmas cards
*The tree was put up, lights were put on it, and a total of 6 ornaments graced it!
*The tree is not black, the lights are not black and there is no black garland on the tree or any where in the house....an inside joke at my house-

For the new year I am hoping to continue to stay on track with my weight loss goals and possibly find a new job. I am getting to the point here in the NICU that I am feeling a little burnt out- yes I have only been here for a little over a year- but I am now required to float out to post partum- something that was not part of the deal when I was hired to this position- sorry, but yes I am jealous and even a little bitter towards this population of patient. They have something that I don't have, something that I will never have- I don't want to help them with breastfeeding, I don't want to hear about their hemrrhoids, and I don't want to hear about their successful fertility treatment that got them this baby 'you know that treatment that you should try'....yes I am an idiot- I haven't heard of that one- I forgot to ask my doctor about that one, how stupid of me.
Anyway- I am also having issues with even going to deliveries- don't get me wrong. When I do go- it is beautiful, but there have been so many meth moms here lately or way young teen moms that it is so frustrating- why do they get to have their 10th kid that they don't even have custody of, and I can't even have just 1- is that really too much to ask for?!
I just need to go back to peds or somewhere else so that maybe I won't be so bitter. I really love my coworkers- its just the position- I am not happy- I don't want to come to work any more- I don't want to deal with it anymore.
Some days I wish I could just win the lottery already so that I just wouldn't have to come to work any more- that would fix it all...wouldn't it?

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